Beloved school mascot, Rameses the Ram, has been a revered and loyal member of the Fordham community since 1906.
…Or has he?
From 1925 to 1975, Fordham was bolstered by the presence of a live ram, Rameses, as our school mascot. Rameses’ presence singlehandedly caused school spirit to rise a staggering 85.449% from before the time of The Ram Fam’s naissance. During this 50 year period, peace reigned supreme (except for when Rameses was viciously slaughtered, kidnapped six times by rival schools, or met an early demise). However, it turns out that Rameses has been a very busy ram since vanishing from the public eye in 1975.
You heard it here first, America. Since 1975, Rameses the Ram has been two-timing Fordham, New York City’s only Jesuit university, by serving as a mascot to the University of North Carolina “Tar Heels.”
A few journalistic and necessary questions:
(b) According to Urban Dictionary: “An occupant of UNC-Chapel hill. A fairly smart, pretentious hick. Someone who probably couldn’t make it in to Duke.”
So, a tar heel is apparently some Confederate bozo who walked in tar during the Civil War. Not only is a tar heel not a ram, it is also not an animal at all. WHAT THE FRICK, RAMESES?!
2. See #3
3. Yes, this is precisely why he did this.
4. Isn’t it obvious? Letting it slip that Rameses would rather hang out at a school whose mascot isn’t even named after an animal would decimate the Fordham community; enrollment numbers would plummet, and all students and professors would enter a depression so severe that even the ghosts at the Westchester campus would feel it.
Well, we at Stove’s don’t have any issue with exposing the fraud that is Rameses the Ram, because this is a serious publication of integrity, whose sole mission is to seek the truth and spread justice for all.
In the end, one distraught student, Amy Amsterdam (FCLC ‘21), eloquently summed up the feelings of the Fordham community following this earth-shattering discovery:
“New York is my campus and Fordham is my school, but Rameses the Ram is not my mascot.”