By Grace Getman & Cathleen Freedman
McKeon residents have come forward with paranormal complaints. As far as we can tell, they have occurred since the removal of the controversial Robert Moses plinth in 2016.
Upon further questioning, these students say that the Robert Moses plinth’s spirit haunts their dorm. Yes, EXPLICITLY the Robert Moses plinth. Do not confuse the spirit of the Robert Moses plinth with the spirit of Robert Moses. We talked to Robert Moses’s ghost, and he said he would like to be excluded from this narrative. All ghostly accusations are toward the ghost of the plinth.
The first sign that something was amiss occurred in September, when several freshmen reported hearing car honks in their dorm at 4am, the time when the only sound students should be hearing is their drunk suitemate stumbling back from Rose Hill and then loudly complaining that they lost their key. These students theorize that these honks are the doing of the spirit of the Robert Moses plinth. Robert Moses is remembered by many as a big fan of cars.
In addition, one FCLC ‘22 student said she “can hear the spirit of the Robert Moses plinth whisper through the faucet.” Every time she brushes her teeth, she hears the plinth’s spirit say, “Erect the plinth...Erect the plinth….” When asked for further comment, she denied and said, “I’ve heard too much already.”
Multiple McKeon residents have reported that they have found their bamboo plants from the CAB Back-To-School event in September knocked over. One FCLC ‘22 student says he walked into his room and saw the spirit of Robert Moses’s plinth in the middle of knocking down his bamboo plant. When the student asked the Robert Moses plinth’s spirit why he was knocking down the bamboo plant, the spirit of the Robert Moses plinth yelled, “CONCRETE JUNGLE, BABY!”
On October 3, a group of FCLC ‘22 students were stuck in a McKeon elevator for three minutes. “It would have been longer,” one of the students said, “but the spirit of the Robert Moses plinth said he would let us out if we signed a petition to reinstate the plinth on campus.” There were no injuries except for the students’ reputations.
More serious injuries occurred in November. Right as the RA was coming to perform Room Safety & Health Inspections, tapestries and string lights were spontaneously placed on a student’s walls. Freshman dance major and victim Sasha DiGiorno says she hurriedly threw the offending items out the window, and then chanted “vroom vroom vroom” three times in front of a mirror in order to summon the spirit of the Robert Moses plinth, because She Wanted To Have Words. The statue offered no apologies, instead offering her a place in McMahon if she would let him turn her dorm room into an opera lounge. She refused but said she’d reconsider if it was a jazzercize lounge instead.
With all of these alarming incidents afoot, the investigation into the whereabouts and motivations of this plinth(and whether it is, in fact, a stele) continue, and any information would be appreciated.
If you see the spirit of the Robert Moses plinth or have any information, please contact us at 1-800-PLINTH.