Here at The Bleat, we’re predicting this seasons hottest costume trends! We’ve compiled the top ten fool-proof costumes that are sure to make everyone scream this Halloween!
1. Androgynous Vampire
Go to all those Halloween parties as an androgynous sexy vampire! Flirt it up, and confuse the hell out of everyone who finds themselves attracted to you. If anyone presses you on the question of gender, just eat them! No one will question it this time of year; it’ll fit with all of the themes!
2. Sexy Oat Milk
Want to look sexy while still proudly declaring you’re vegan? Look no further! This sexy oatmilk costume is the perfect daring choice that still ensures everyone in the room knows you wouldn’t hurt an animal if your life depended on it. But make sure to mention it to everyone you meet too, just in case.
3. Creepy Clown
Are you a white man who thrives on making those in the room with you feel slightly distressed? This is the costume for you! Scare women and children alike dressed as a clown this Halloween!
4. Oddly Sexualized Preteen
This one's a gimme. Oddly sexualized preteen has been a major costume trend for years! It's about time you all got in on the fun! Show your little girl how much you appreciate her by -- okay, no this is still gross, never mind. Moving on to number 5!
5. Horrifying Political Candidate
No matter what your political stance is this Halloween, you’re bound to have a lot of fun dressing up as a political candidate you despise, shown to be the horror that he is!
6. Himalayan Salt Lamp
Want to show off those legs but literally no other part of your body this All Hallows Eve? Well then you need to go as a sexy Himalayan salt lamp! Become a natural ionizer and help get those negative vibes out of any Halloween party!
7. Racist White Person
Hey white folks! You know all those leftover horribly offensive Native American, Mexican sombreros and ponchos, and Japanese Geisha and Samurai costumes you used in previous Halloweens before you got "woke"? Just leave them at home and go as a racist person this year! Much cheaper, and you can let your inevitable micro-aggressions be the costume for you!
8. The Void
With the news about the world going downhill like a snowball thrown off the Grand Canyon, this is the most topical costume ever. Be the most popular guest at the party by coming as the inescapable ever expanding void!
No, it's not Kevin from The Office (though you can eat chili while wearing this costume). It's just a guy named Kevin! Kevin is a really easy costume: you can feel free to just re-use your racist white people costume!
10. Dapper Fishy
Last but not least, pets! How could we end a list like this without a little homage to Fido and Mittens? But put those little kitty bat wings away and give poor Mittens a break this year, because this Halloween’s hottest trend in pet costumes is Fish Couture! Dress up Goldie in this fabulous costume and see the crowd go wild! Happy costuming, people!