Perry The Platypus: Can’t go wrong with this wacky platy. Ladies love him and men wanna be him.
That platypus from the Lunchables commercials: a surprising twist that’s hard to resist!
That platypus down by Chelsea Piers that likes to swim in the Hudson every once in a while: I call him Raphael but I heard this one other guy call him Timothy. I beat him up. We’re now in agreement that his name is Raphael Jones II.
That platypus I saw climbing a tree in Central Park: I tried to follow him. It didn’t work. He scurried up the tree using his platypus talons.
That platypus that was at the foot at my bed and scattered across my dorm the other night: No one believes that I saw him. But I did. I saw him guys, I swear. I SAW HIM!
Scary dream platypus that preys on my deepest insecurities: y’know the one, red eyes, calm soothing baritone voice. You guys have seen him too right? RIGHT?
Agent P: look out bond, there’s a new secret agent with animal charisma, and unlike you he can lay an egg.