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I Lived It: My Mom Vapes

11/25/2018

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By Juulia Smith

I am a member of the silent majority, but I can’t be silent any longer. I have to wheeze out, because I can’t live like this.

My mother vapes. She vapes all day long, and I can’t stop her.

Everytime she takes a puff, a strange feeling overcomes me. I lose my sense of identity. I’m supposed to be the cool kid, not the soccer mom on the sidelines making jokes about wine. I walk around, utterly discombobulated. .

A string of incidents present themselves.

It’s my parent’s anniversary. He gets her a strand of juuls.

A faint smell of grape-juicy apples-tango melon fills the air. I choke.

An e-cigarette ends up in the salad instead of a vinaigrette. We all stare at it.

We drive to the supermarket in the car. I stare straight ahead. The light flickers. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see a Vineyard Vines visor. The light changes again. She takes a drag of the e-cigarette. I pretend not to notice the khaki shorts peeking out under the seat.

I can barely remember, but it didn’t used to be like this. I remember when Saturdays weren’t for the boys and puff, there she goes again. I sink back into the haze and dream.

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