Feral Cat Elected USG President
In a breakthrough for the feral cat community, Mr. Snuggles III of the dumpster behind the McGinley Center was elected the new President of United Student Government at Rose Hill.
In an unprecedented landslide victory against incumbent Brian Reardon, Snuggles III won on a platform of lowering housing rates, cleaning up campus, mouse reform, and legalizing shitting in a box.
“Meow,” Snuggles III said in his victory speech, which was met with thunderous applause by those gathered behind the McGinley Center on Sunday night. It is already being hailed as one of the best addresses in Fordham United Student Government history.
“Mr. Snuggles III is the kind of President I’ve been waiting for,” said Michael Johnson, Fordham College at Rose Hill (FCRH) ’18, of the unofficial student organization Feral Cat Representation by Humans (FCRH). “It’s time for their voice to be included.”
Not everyone, however, is happy with Snuggles III’s victory. The recently formed advocacy group Dogs of Rose Hill is already planning a demonstration, where they intend on barking in annoying yelps across campus until Snuggles III resigns. They have already gained the support of two Rose Hill students who say they were viciously attacked by Mr. Snuggles III’s campaign aides on campus earlier this month.
Also unhappy with the Snuggles III’s meteoric rise to power is former USG President Brian Reardon, who was spotted today in the Cosi on campus muttering “It wasn’t even time for an election,” and “How’d he turn in the paperwork?” into his margherita pizza.
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