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Forlorn Theatre Major wondering where his New York Times profile is

4/20/2017

 
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In the wake of Fordham students now treating The Flame as a holy site after Lorde revealed that she wrote most of her new album there, Fordham Theatre Student Bobby Lawrence has felt that his accomplishments as an up-and-coming playwright were being terribly overlooked.
“Well, yeah, I know she’s Lorde and everything and she has like two grammys already and she’s only 20, but where’s my New York Times profile?” Lawrence asked. “I’ve written three off-off-off-off-off broadway plays in Dollar Pizza, and not a word about that makes it into the Times. Not a one.”
When contacted to confirm whether or not Lawrence wrote several of his plays at Dollar Pizza, the store’s owner said that Lawrence did in fact come there on a regular basis, but was not a welcome guest.
“All he does is just stand around and scream ‘Where’s my Tony?’ at our patrons,” the owner said, adding that he’ll occasionally mumble that no one appreciates the arts as much as he does. “He’s a nice guy though.”
Lawrence was last seen loitering outside Alan’s trying to find any journalists who might want to profile him.

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