Security guard in 140 building resorts to playing Bee Movie memes to get people to give him some goddamn peace and quiet
Unsatisfied with the efficacy of his security announcements, Fordham security guard Patrick Beaty has resorted to playing Bee Movie memes at deafening volumes to get students to vacate the 140 Building at 11 p.m.
Previously, Beaty would say “It is 11 p.m. The 140 building is now closed. Please vacate the premises.” However, Beaty found that he was unsuccessful, with groups of students hiding out in Argo Tea until 1:30 a.m. each night. By playing videos like “The bee movie trailer but every time they say bee the content aware scale gets stronger” and “The entire Bee Movie but it is just Kenny” over the intercom, Beaty has found that the students are much more willing to leave when he wants them to.
“It’s honestly a miracle,” Beaty said while skimming through the depths of YouTube to find his next batch of horrid internet creations. “Ah yes, there’s a good one,” he said, chuckling as he pointed to thumbnail for “The Bee Movie But every time they say Bee, Shrek Screams ‘DONKEY!’ (And More!)”
For extra effect, Beaty has also donned a bee costume and wandered around the halls of the building while singing the Seinfeld theme song.
“I’m terrified, really,” FCLC junior Vanessa Chesterfield said. “I was walking down to grab something from the USG office and then I just heard it: the low, echoing tones of a man singing a cheesy sitcom theme.” Chesterfield said she ran in panic as the rotund black and yellow body of Beaty rounded the corner and started to accelerate in her direction. He repeatedly yelled “Ya like jazz?” as he waddled towards her, according to Chesterfield.
For the time being, however, Beaty’s shenanigans may be put to a stop. The intercom speakers were reportedly blown out last night after he played “scene from The Bee Movie where Ken tries to kill Barry but with Naruto fight music.” Beaty promises, however, that he will revive his strategy.
“They haven’t seen the last of me,” he said, laughing as he unloaded jars of honey into the water bottle sitting on his desk.
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