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Man Spends Commute Hoping Someone Will Ask About His Book

1/3/2019

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This Monday morning, 20-year-old Mark Fisher spent his entire train ride fervently wishing that someone, anyone, would notice his reading choice. Fisher picked up the new Ruth Bader Ginsberg biography a mere 3 minutes before getting on the West 14th Street 1 train, immediately tossing the Barnes and Nobles bag lest anyone realize he hadn’t yet cracked it open.

Witnesses report that Fisher boarded the train, took stock of the passengers, and sat down feet away from the first attractive young woman he saw before conspicuously placing the book on the seat of his corduroy pants. He then strategically tilted the book upwards so that the title was legible to everybody around him. Although the words were humanly impossible to decipher at that angle, when approached for comment, Fisher got defensive and said he “just reads like that.”

Fisher then proceeded to dive into his new tome, admirably managing to make it through a couple words at a time before flicking his beady little eyes upwards to check for impressed reactions from his fellow commuters. Getting none, Fisher took a different approach, artfully arranging his bland face into a look of intense concentration. He even tried a thoughtful chin rub, finally resorting to audible “mmm”s of interest that, unfortunately, nobody could hear through their Airpods. After an impressive 15 minutes and 36 seconds of this, Fisher gave up and looked through his own camera roll for the rest of the ride.

“I don’t know, I just find RBG really compelling,” said Fisher over-enthusiastically when approached for comment by our team, adding that he “had to run” when asked what, exactly, he found compelling.  At press time, Fisher’s roommate, Scott, was using Bader Ginsberg’s My Own Words to prop up his iPad so that he could watch “American Dad!” hands-free.

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