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By The Bleat Staff  Trump’s Twitter account was hacked this week and all his DM’s have gone public. Let’s take a look into the detached and crazed DM's he is sending as impeachment slowly creeps up! If you thought his Twitter feed was bad, you've gotta see these...       
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By Jackson Letterman  Photo: Hari Nandakumar Earlier this year, members of Napa County’s tourism board expressed the desire to attract more nature enthusiasts to the area in an attempt to offset their reputation as a hot spot for middle aged white women to get day drunk while ignoring the fact that their children are at home literally ripping their house out of its foundation.
Recently, a Napa Valley couple reached out to the Board and expressed their interest in marketing their newly-inherited family winery as a Natural Thotmas Vineyards (Trademark pending), the world’s first winery for nature lovers. Carey McCoy, 28, and her fiancé Joseph Thotmas, a French Instagram Influencer, recently inherited an 800 acre winery in Northern Napa Valley, and have been working tirelessly to completely transform it into Napa’s next tourist trap. In contrast to a traditional winery, Carey is introducing a new trend to appeal to her fellow millennial nature lovers. She will not be offering any wine, but instead her vineyard will offer several types of dirt imported from all over the globe. Below is a list of all varieties Carey is offering at her winery, along with its country of origin. Sol, France Suelo, Spain Έδαφος, Greece Suolo, Italy Dirt (Pronounced in an Australian accent), Australia 흙, North Korea I am excited to share that I received a PR package from Natural Thotmas Vineyards after they heard about this article and I’m even more excited to be the first to review their dirt varieties! Sol, Suelo, Έδαφος, and Suolo were all amazing, but the true standouts are Dirt (Pronounced in an Australian accent) and 흙. Dirt (Pronounced in an Australian accent) has wonderful undertones of kangaroo feces and vegemite that really separates it from the rest. However, my personal favorite is 흙. 흙 has alarming undertones of oppression and nuclear fallout that sincerely caused me to experience true panic. When dirt is able to instill real fear in the taster, that’s when you know it’s quality. Of course, Carey’s dirt has no alcoholic content, so Carey and Joseph Thotmas encourage tourists to pregame heavily before arriving in order to fully emulate a traditional winery experience Along with the selection of dirt, Natural Thotmas Vineyards will also offer an assortment of tree bark to pair with the dirt, ranging from Oak, to Redwood, to the highly exclusive Balsam. No, your eyes are not deceiving you, they got balsam. Carey and Joseph are planning for a Summer 2020 opening, however may consider pushing back if they are unable to secure enough instagram sponsorships. Already included on their roster is Jenna Marbles, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Blue Ivy Carter in her very first brand deal. However, they are still in negotiations with K-Pop group BTS and the little boy from Birdbox. You can apply for the position of soilmmelier by commenting under one of the thirst traps on Joseph's instagram page. *Please note an instagram following of at least 5,000 is required to secure a reservation at NTV, in order to ensure exclusivity. |
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