Color Spectrum Announces It Will Phase Out Failed Yellow Experiment

THE SKY - In its first press conference since it began to be perceived within our universe 13.8 billion years ago, the color spectrum announced today that it will soon phase out “yellow,” the color evoked by light with wavelengths ranging between 570 and 590 nanometers. “We decided to give it a trial period of countless millennia,” the visible portion of electromagnetic radiation explained, “but ultimately we determined that, as we expected, yellow is ultimately a redundant color. There’s really nothing it can do that orange and green can’t handle for themselves.” Pointing out The Sun, a regular collaborator with light, That Which Can Be Seen mused “everybody thinks the sun is yellow, but that’s actually a misperception caused by human optical limitation and the atmosphere. Additionally, our focus groups have indicated that sighted humans age 18-34 believe the sun ‘looks, like, way cooler when it’s red during sunset’ and they want to know ‘why can’t the sun look that dope all day?’ Well, now it can.” At press time, the International Federation of Olfactory Glands revealed their intentions to “eliminate stinky stuff” after a consultant firm determined such smells are “yucky.”